Women, please don’t get me wrong. History reveals the fingerprints of strong women who have pressed their hands into humanity and improved the world over and again. But men are different.
We have a power to do substantial good in our lives but more importantly we have the tendency to do lasting harm to everyone around us. Women and men may work hand in hand to improve a community or culture, but the atrocities that destroy are almost always from the hands of men.
At the core of each man who causes such grief, there is a little boy who wasn’t loved enough. He passes on his inheritance … anger, abuse, apathy. He will not do for others what he always wanted for himself. He has no pattern to imitate. Love in that society grows colder one person at a time.
These were our thoughts when my wife and I chose to adopt 3 older boys. Love also grows stronger one person at a time, or 3 at a time. When the boys came to live in our home, these young strangers had a trajectory toward the atrocities that only men can cause. A lousy dad and dozen foster home placements will do that.
But resilience is strong in kids, and we nurtured it in them. We began to love each of them in the way they needed and they are beginning to bloom. We are cultivating them into young men who will pass through life using their strength to make the earth a better place and people will be better for having known them. Instead of knowing them by their abuses and their own children reared in anger and apathy, we will all know them by their music, their creations, their dancing, their humor, and the love that compels them to care for those around them.
By loving one person at a time, we change our community and the world.
If you’d like to know more about foster care or adopting a child from foster care, please email us.
If you’d like to contribute to the strengthening of young men in your community, please email us for ideas, materials or simple encouragement.